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ADVOCATE. WRITER. EDUCATOR. TRAUMA RECOVERY COACH. Spreading Awareness About Narcissistic Abuse. IG: conscious_change

Not what you might expect

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I have the misfortune to say that I've slept with more than one narcissist. Yes, I know I should have learned my lesson the first time round but the school of hard knocks has always been my preferred route of choice.

I always looked for the good in people, made excuses for their crappy behavior, and naively presumed they too shared the same outlook on life. This is what lead me to encounter more than one narcissistic lover in my lifetime.

What I can say is that it taught me how to accurately predict how a relationship or ‘situationship’ as…


How to find the right help specific to you.

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I've seen a total of three different therapists in my life. I had hoped to gain some insight into my own personal struggles and why nothing about my past experiences seemed to make any sense. With each one, I placed enormous expectations thinking and hoping that they would somehow ‘put me right’ and cure me of my woes.

Yet, I always came away feeling like something was missing. Although it was comforting and reassuring to talk to someone I never quite felt that they really truly got me.

I felt like I was always striving to make myself understood which…


How I overcame resistance to religion

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I hail from the land of ‘Saints and Scholars — aka Catholic Ireland. Most would assume that religion is an ingrained part of daily life there. And from a glance, it does appear so. Churches and cathedrals dominate the skyline. Crosses decorate every corner, and phrases such as “God bless you” roll off the tongue of elders.

Yet, despite this, there was a distinct lack of faith among the youth that I knew and associated with. It was almost embarrassing or ‘uncool’ to be seen at mass on a Sunday. …


Why they behave the way they do

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The dictionary’s definition of a narcissist is ‘a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.’

Anyone who has met a narcissist would argue this wording, using ‘destructive’ as opposed to ‘excessive’. While self-confidence and conviction can have a healthy place in this world, if destroying another person is necessary to maintain it, it then becomes a psychological disorder that will require attention — Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Sure, there are a lot of people on this planet that could be classed as difficult or highly strung but there are those who malicious revenge becomes their only goal…


Why canines will always make better company

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I‘ve always had a preference for dogs over humans. Likely owing to the fact that the majority of my childhood was spent in the company of our pet alsation. Her name was Sasha and in true canine style, she was a loyal and loving companion.

I knew if nothing else that I could always depend on her to be there. I learned early on that dogs were safe and humans, well… much less so.

Growing up with a pet dog allowed me a place to seek refuge when things got too much at home. …


3 simple ways to tell the difference

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Ever been out for a good time with friends but for some reason instead of feeling uplifted and renewed afterward, you actually feel kind of low?

In the past, I would come away with this feeling but could never quite put my finger on why. Afterall, a good time had been had, conversation flowed and the evening ticked all the supposed boxes of what a nice evening should look like. So, why did it feel so off I wondered?

Friends are supposed to be the flowers in the garden of life. They’re supposed to add color and spark to your…


But all he did was make me stronger

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After arriving in a foreign country on a continent I had only ever seen on National Geographic up until that point, my young, naive 23-year-old self couldn’t believe that I was actually here, in this exotic land!

I had been hooked on David Attenborough documentaries since childhood and had only dreamed of visiting such places. Now, somehow my dreams had become a reality. ‘How the hell did this happen?’ — I happily wondered!

Lovebomber alert

Despite only being able to speak a few words of the local language, I was soon pursued by a handsome neighbor. It wasn’t long before I was…


Learn to stay ahead of their game

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Think it’s easy to spot a narcissist? I bet you’re thinking of that really brash guy that insists on being the loudest and most obnoxious person in the room? Or that woman who just can’t stop taking selfies and struts down the street as she owns it? Or maybe that person that just always has to be the centre of attention?

When we think of a narcissist usually it's the — -

‘I'm so great, look at my fast car’,

‘I'm so handsome/pretty’ type that springs to mind.

Well, actually there are many types of narcissists and no two are…


Through the lens of toxic abuse

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There are a lot of things I would change about my past- believe me. Sometimes I look back and can only cringe at the things I thought I knew back then. My outlook and beliefs about life and the people around me were beyond naive.

My now older, wiser self would like to reach out and shake some sense into that young woman. …


How to spot a narcissist before you get romantically conned

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So, you’ve finally met your Prince Charming? He’s tall, good looking, intelligent and so, so utterly charming.

The kind of guy you would bring home to meet the folks. He’s everything you’ve always wished for. You feel like you’ve hit the jackpot with this one.

‘Wow — I’ve struck gold’ you think as he fawns over you and tells you everything you have ever wanted to hear and more.

It feels like something straight out of a fairytale — you’re now living the romantic dream you had always sought.

Now you know all those Disney films weren’t a waste of…

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